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”Later, as he counted the money he found 2O five dollar bills, and a two dollar bill with a note that read “Forever hold your peace, I’ll have that other three dollars before sundown.”I once found a throw rug in a catch basin.I bought a dog the other day ... I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to. She is not fooled; she knows the game, too, and was playing it long before I entered the scene. Bitch.I hate them all. Myself not least.Then there's the entrance, with its doormen and luxurious red carpeting, and the elegant table with the gilt-lettered parchment, Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Plantagenet. I'm just Mrs. Him.The wine is typical-- the best doesn't get any better if you've had it seven times in the last year-- and the conversation doubly so. This is all building to a fever pitch for me, and with a fixed smile I excuse myself to powder my nose ... and head instead for the exit. My head is ringing, and my ears are buzzing and for some reason tonight, my God, tonight I just can't fucking take this at all for one minute longer and I need to escape.The limo driver looks confused; he's not even pulled away from the line of cars at the curb, yet, and already I'm leaping into the back seat. My face is in my hands, and I'm trying to breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Keep.
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